I really dunno how, i really dunno why... i suddenly missed this very important person so much.. well, it isnt strange at all as he's the very person that inspired me and made me wanna change for the better. =) He's not anyone close to me.. He's Neivelle Tan.. I guess not many might know him.. wel, i dun care whether u noe or not.. im gonna share his story with you.. =)
I got to know him as an ordinary guy coming to our weekly assembly, which of cos being a rebellious student at that time didnt give much of a damn. I just wanna skip the blardy school song and get my nap. But little did i know this story is gonna change my life so much. So he started off by saying he used to be a gangster... well which i thought that was nothing wat. wat can he have done? robbed an auntie? killed an opposite gang member? or juz some drug smuggler. No, he was way way way worse than that which really got me h0oked to his story already. i juz wanna see what the hell did he do. i'll juz summarize... He was a notorious gang member, often chasing opposing gang members which are mostly malays. at that time, racial riots were very common and there was once he said, he got caught by malay gang members and was buried right up till his neck for a few days without food and water. Until a few days later where he was spotted. I could also remember clearly that his mother was very very very caring, though he was so bad and notorious, his mother never gave up on him. Even when he's in jail, his mother was still there hoping for him to return one day. But he didnt give a damn, in and out he visits the prison, more than 3/4 of his life was serving jail terms. There was a part where he said when his mom passed away. If i remembered correctly, that was when it really hit him hard.. he seems like he's lost everything. He even tried different ways to commit suicide. he tried to bash into the wall, but the cell was too small for him to run. He tried to swallow soap, but it was too big! He tried to act insane and jumped off the wall of prisons which was 7-9 feet tall if i remembered correctly. He got very desperate i know, until he come across the bible. i shall leave the christianity part out.. i juz remember him saying : " God, take my life and do watever you want with it" yes he said that. I didnt know how this simple assembly could impact me so much. He said : " i'm not here to spread christianity." Most importantly, these are the words he said to me : " this is a story about shame, not success" I then begin to realize all the things that i've done that time which i thought was gungho was stupid and shameful. He's the real great guy that have done lots more henious crimes than me.. I felt insulted and disgusted with myself~ am i fit to be a gangster? Since then, i begin to change day by day. I shall not continue cos many might think im bull shitting already. =) I really miss that guy, suddenly i missed him so much to made me blogged bout him in the middle of the night. Hes a man i really respect. I bought and read his book twice, if yall know its called "Iron Man" that was nick that time. The title already tells everything bout him. Though i miss him, i guess i miss my lil baby more.. =) shes someone really special and different. She's unique..she's another sweet lady that changed me quite alot. im not into mushy stuffs.. so i'll juz stop this entry. =) |
-voicez- {pilldance}
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